In September 2016 Wendy Applyby, a successful former client of Weight Loss mastermind, agreed to be interviewed on camera about her weight loss journey.
That interview was edited into the 4 minute video you can see on this page but the full interview is here on this page below. Just click the question to see Wendy’s answer.
I felt very conscious in my place of work, I felt very conscious when I went on holiday with friends. I hated every single photograph that I ever saw of myself, and it generally ruled my life, I was constantly thinking about how I could improve things… but I felt just quite powerless to change the way things were, so it wasn’t a very good place, no.
So I think the 3 words if you were to ask would be things like constant, certainly, rubbish – because I didn’t really look at the quality of what I was eating, it was snacking it was junk food and it was very, anything I could lay my hands on if I was bored. And I was disgusted, I was actually quite disgusted if I look back on an average day as to what I could quite easily eat, I would say I was disgusted yeah – those are the three words I would say.
I just used to get up in the morning, pull the first thing on, go to work – so I used to feel quite inferior. A strange word but I did, I felt quite on the edge of what I should be feeling in my 50s, y’know I just wanted to feel like, lots of my other friends had y’know lovely slim figures and quite exciting lives. And I just felt like my weight was stopping me doing a lot of things.
I also felt quite conscious even walking past shop windows, I didn’t like the look of my reflection, I didn’t like anything about myself. It didn’t just encompass my weight I just felt very very negative about everything. I was very short tempered and I was very impatient, very dismissive of things – if people were irritating to me I didn’t give them a second chance. I was just very negative. So all in all, it was just much more than the physical side of it. I just felt like it was ruling my life to be honest.
It was painful, quite frankly it was painful. And the more I had to think about food, the more I thought about food, and so the more I wanted to eat. So the techniques I tried in the past, were actually I felt just not right for me.
And this is over perhaps 20-30 years that I’ve been fighting these weight issues. So why I kept trying these things over and over again I have no idea, but I did. Each time feeling that Monday morning would come round and I would make a success of it on this particular week. And by Thursday it would be back to normality, putting the weight back on and feeling again, absolutely worthless, because I’d failed.
It was just all-encompassing, I couldn’t even go to work without taking slimming books with me, or couldn’t sit in front of a meal without counting every sin – so those techniques were nevertheless for me personally, very short lived, they didn’t work for me, and they just made me feel worse about myself, because whilst they may work for some people – it was creating a circle of negativity for me.
So again I would say over the last, certainly for me personally over the last 20-30 years I’ve spent, must be over, between 5-10 thousand pounds easily, because of the price of classes, the price of subscription, the price of gym membership. The contracts you’re tied into for those, and the actual products that I’ve been buying unnecessarily – which I obviously had to pay top whack for. Magazines for slimming clubs, specialist products under branded names which were supposed to be designed to help you lose weight which actually didn’t – so yes I would say quite a considerable sum of money.
But I was also aware at how much failure I had counted in the past – so there came a point where I realised enough was enough. And I decided to try a new method, something that I thought would work personally for me because it was a change of mindset, it was a whole lifestyle change, but it was something that would come from within.
And I personally recognised that a lot of my eating was triggered by emotion, as I’m sure a lot of women would say the same. I also realised that I had formed which if I could change within myself, within my mind I could probably break those habits. So after reading an article in a magazine about a celebrity having used a variety of different techniques and this on had worked for me, I decided to give it a try.
I went in with a very open mind I knew very little about it, but I did realise that actually it was last chance saloon for me because I knew that if this new method didn’t work, and all the previous 30 years of trying various slimming techniques hadn’t worked, I really didn’t know what I would do next.
So I think desperate is the word, I was desperate for it to work, I was desperate to make it work, I would have done anything that would have been required of me in terms of commitment to it, so I did go in with a very determined outlook but I didn’t actually know what to expect either.
And once I’d actually spoken to him, I realised that to go through this process I needed a really strong personal connection. I’m a very peoples person and I needed to feel that I could be really open and honest, not be judged. And get the support, emotionally as much as anything else that I was going to need – and he actually ticked all those boxes for me without a shadow of a doubt.
From the very first conversation we had, I knew that I could work with him because I liked him and I really wanted to put my trust into someone that I felt [00:05:01] was an expert in that particular field. And judging by the reviews that’s exactly what he was, everyone spoke really highly of his personal qualities but also about his professionalism. So that’s the reason that I specifically chose to work with Richard.
So in terms of opening up I was determined to make it work and I felt that to make it work I had to be really open and honest. I didn’t feel that there was any point in being shy or coy about my habits, about my problems about my issues, my hangups.
So I laid it all on the table, and it was a very emotional outpouring at times. But nevertheless I think it was a good starting point for me to move forward. I think I needed to do that, I needed to be honest with myself and I needed to be honest with Richard, and from that point from the notes he made on me and the decisions that I decided to talk about and commit to, I think that’s why personally it worked so well for me.
That’s when the actual mental relaxation was worked upon, so it was all about trying to go deeper, trying to understand that I could actually… relax fully from within. I could try and push myself that little bit further that each time. And it became a state of complete and utter relaxation.
It was not difficult for me personal to achieve – it was something I found really really enjoyable, and I used to come out of each session having heard an awful lot of really useful information, but also feeling terribly relaxed and refreshed and rearing to go for the rest of the day. I also had the best nights sleep ever after each session. So all in all it was much easier, much more straight forward, and very enjoyable for me.
So I made time to do that, I was required to do that as homework and I did definitely commit to that. The recordings as the weeks went on obviously I had more information to tap into, so I would perhaps listen to one recording on one evening, three evenings later I would listen to the second recording. And they all contained a very different strength for me, a different message. Sometimes it was all about what I was capable of, how I needed to invest more time in myself.
How I was very strong, how I was able to achieve everything I thought I wanted to achieve and how I had to believe that I could do this. So outside the sessions it was reiterating and getting those messages through in a very calm, relaxed environment that was basically time for me, which was very refreshing to find at home. I didn’t used to find that time at home before.
And that’s when I started to think how can this be happening to me how can I suddenly be one of these people who doesn’t finish a meal, and doesn’t go onto the dessert menu, and doesn’t order two desserts or another glass of wine. So there weren’t challenges, I have to be honest I found it all very straight forward, very easy to get into, but I did question somehow, how well this was working for me so effortlessly.
It didn’t seem to require me to do anything other than, be in the moment. Just relax, be calm, understand that I was enjoying food, understand when I’d had enough, understand that I didn’t always have to be eating if I wasn’t hungry, which I know sounds very straight forward and very logical for some people, but I’ve actually experienced hunger for the first time since working with Richard.
I was never hungry before, I just used to snack all the time. Now it became apparent that I could enjoy meals because I was really looking forward to them, and eating quality food, and enjoying it in a more natural setting as opposed to just grazing and snacking all day. So I didn’t feel any challenges but I did find it very very enlightening that all this change could happen so effortlessly for me personally.
I went out that evening for a meal with my family and again proceeded to get half way through and push the plate away, much to the astonishment of my sons who said I thought you said it was delicious, I said it was, but I’m actually full. And I found it even then to understand that just an hour, of my work with Richard that afternoon had had such an immediate difference, but it had – that was on the same afternoon. So from there on it just got better and better. I didn’t work at it and it didn’t expect it to but I just took each day as it came and each day [00:10:02] and each day brought me a new amazing surprise.
So I would take food to work, and instead of having eaten it by half past 10 I would bring half of it home with me. Because at lunch time I’d only eaten half of it. Now again that to me was completely and utterly mind-blowing, I never experienced anything like that before. So from that point of view that is what the immediate effects were for me, but they just continued to get better and better and more and more rewarding.
So that side of things has been really fantastic. In terms of comments from friends and family, on the physical side of it, yes – I’m starting to wear bright colours, I’m starting to wear very different clothes than from what I used to wear before. I actually take pride in my appearance again, and I definitely walk differently. I was beginning to just shuffle around and just become invisible, I don’t do that any more, I’ve got a proper strut to it now.
And I feel as if I can walk into my working environment which I have to do with the general public every day, with a much more confident air about me. I don’t feel the slightest bit sub… self conscious anymore. I actually like my reflection in shop windows now and I think just generally its increased my confidence ten-fold. So it is so much more than just losing weight, its about me being confident about my abilities at work. I question and challenge things more, I find more mistakes that need to be found. I’m far more focused. I also find that I’m calmer at home if situations arise with my family or domestic situations.
I deal with them far easier because I’m much more calmer, I’m far in the moment. I just feel more together, I think that’s the word for me personally, it suits me this lifestyle, definitely suits me. And I just feel that I’m back in control again, and I am a bit of a control freak anyway so that’s really important to me – that food is not dictating what I look like, what I can wear, where I can go, and how I can enjoy my life. It doesn’t do that for me anymore. Its about me making those choices, and that has probably been, life changing for me, undoubtedly.
So if I have a day when I eat something unhealthy or I perhaps have a day when I indulge, which I do. I just get back on track the next day, because I’m in control, not the scales, not a weight loss book, not facing a teacher in the waiting room of weight watchers or getting on a set of scales in public – none of that, its about me controlling how I want to lose my weight and when I want to lose it, and at what rate. And that is a massive massive freedom, a feeling of freedom to me. So yes that’s what the best thing about this is for me.
I was far more adventurous on holiday, I was far more willing to try new things. So all in all I feel that I look so much better, but its about so much more than just my weight loss.
But in terms of just being far more willing to try new things, I’ve actually been far more adventurous, far more lively and more fun to be with – so yes I just think I’m willing to try anything. Its given me a new lease of life definitely. The confidence that I now have means that I don’t feel I’m restricted in anything really.
To suddenly feel I was part of that crowd of that lively, vibrant 50 odd year old women who want to just still go out, have a good time and look nice. So for me it was definitely looking in the mirror in clothes that I wanted to buy, clothes that I wanted to enjoy wearing, and suddenly having to buy a whole new wardrobe in a dress size that I hadn’t been in for 15-20 years – so that’s probably when I began to realise because clothes don’t lie. And that made me feel amazing.
I also feel very confident and I think after six months of being on this program, this… program now, I can honestly say that. I feel this is for life, this is a lifestyle change for me. This is something that I genuinely feel I can work with every single day of my life because it is so effortless – it is something that I am very comfortable with, I’m confident in my abilities now to turn food away because I’m not hungry. I can decide not to eat junk food before because I actually appreciate good quality food now, so getting that back has been huge – I do believe this is probably for life as well.
But also I think its just given me an inner confidence – it initially started out as wanting to lose weight but it has changed me as a person. And no amount of going to slimming class ever made me feel good about myself. Half a stone here, three quarters of a stone there to be put on the following week is not in my opinion life changing. This has been life changing because I now feel I’m a different person.
I’m far more confident, far more aware of what I’m personally capable of doing – and I don’t think I’ve given myself enough credit over the past for the successes I’ve had. But I’m certainly going to give myself credit for this. So yes its been life changing for me.
I actually feel its something that will just fit in with me and help me just have a long term vision of what I want to be. So I’m not quite so hung up now on the scales, I’m not hung up about the amount that I weight, I just have a daily regime where I eat healthily, my health is so much better – I’ve suffered with health problems, digestive problems in the past. They’ve all disappeared.
I just feel that I’m making a long term investment in my particular body, for my children’s future, for my future. And I just want to enjoy the next 20-30 years eating the way i’m eating now, because I’ve seen the benefits over the last 6 months. And believe you me, you wouldn’t want to go back to what I was eating, I was eating junk, I was constantly grazing – I didn’t really care about the effects it was having on my health, I just overlooked them on a day to day basis. My quality of life is so much better, so I would not have had those life changing examples had I been simply on a 6 month Weight Watchers, Doukan Diet, slimming world, weight loss program – because they never worked for me long term.
So not only did they see me in a different light in terms of the physicality of it, wearing different clothes on holiday, going out in different clothes on evenings out. But it was my whole persona of being much calmer, very confident, energetic, willing to have a go at anything, just a different person than I have been for the past few years whilst I’ve been overweight.
I didn’t actually need to tell them a great deal about it but once we did begin to discuss it obviously I told them what was involved. I told them it was a very straightforward process. I told them that Richard was so easy to engage with, so easy to open up to and how professional and how skilled he was at getting the best out of his clients. And I just told them to go in with a very open mind, to give it a go, and to understand that whilst it may not work for everyone – it is so life-changing in my opinion, that its always got to be worth a try.
So in terms of my preconceptions all I can say is that the actual reality of it is far more straight forward, far more rewarding, far more… inspiring, I just feel like telling everyone about it because its just so life changing, it certainly has been for me. So in terms of what I think people should get out of it, its been very easy – for me, to get a whole new confidence, a whole new energy, a whole new lifestyle change out of this. And I would not hesitate in telling anyone to give it a try – put your preconceptions on one side, go in with an open mind, give it your best shot and if you’re determined to make a change, it will work.
I will actually definitely without a shadow of a doubt continue to eat the way I’m eating because I’m eating quality food, I’m enjoying it far more than I ever enjoyed junk food and grazing and snacking on small stuff – so I eat 3 meals a day now and I enjoy my meals, I sit and I mindfully eat at the table. I never watch TV whilst I have meals now, and I also drink lots of water every day, I drink a litre and a half every single day now. Again, all things which I know I’m going to continue to do over the next X number of years because my health is so much better – why wouldn’t I.
Why would I want to go back to old eating patterns that affected my health, my well-being, and my general outlook on life was very negative – this way, I just feel I’ve got so much more to look forward to now because my health is better. My outlook is much brighter, and I just generally feel that I’ve got the choices and the power back to make my lifestyle choices for the next 20 years, so that’s how I see my weight loss journey going, hopefully with more weight loss – but at the moment I’m quite happy the way I am.
I would urge them to look into this type of weight coaching because… weight loss coaching, because I feel it gives the person the confidence and the power back to take their lives back. Weight and food can become all encompassing, its all you think about, its all you see in the mirror – its all you see when you put a plate of food inside yourself, or in front of yourself whether its good or bad.
If its bad food you berate yourself, if its good food you don’t want it, you think its a salad – you think its this, why cant you have fish and chips. I think anybody who is sitting in that position as I was, being overweight and feeling thoroughly negative about everything – not wearing nice clothes, not wanting to go out, not wanting to be photographed on holiday. All those things are so easy to overcome, if only you can take stock, get this weight loss coaching started, open up, be really honest and open and try and change things for the better. And granted, it may not work for everyone, but if you’re determined to make it a real commitment then I think it can.